In the final analysis, the most important thing about a person is his relationship with other people. The way a person relates to other people will indicate something of his relationship with God.

The person who cannot live with other people may find that he cannot live with God. Many human relationships know deep tensions. The tensions may be inward or may express themselves outwardly. These tensions indicate the fact that there is the need for the parties concerned to die.

It is important to know how important a person is. A man’s importance is not determined by:

  • his height or size,

  • his social position,

  • the size of his car,

  • his marital status,

  • the number of his children,

  • the place of his origin,

  • how many letters are after his name,

  • the size of his pay packet.

A man’s importance is determined by how he treats others; that reflects his true condition. If you want to know if a man is great, just want the following:

1) The way he treats those who are close to him.

By those who are close to him I include the following (if they are in his life); his wife or husband, his friend or friends, his children, his servants, his boss or bosses, etc. A worthless man treats those who are close to him with disrespect. He is rude to them. A man who is rude to his wife is worthless. A woman who is rude to her husband is worthless. A man who treats the women and the people outside well,

  • being kind to them,

  • being loving and respectful,

  • not throwing hard words at them,

but is unkind at home, is unloving and disrespectful and dishes hard and harsh words, is a worthless man. A woman who does the same is a worthless woman. A woman who dresses well when going out and appears clean, tidy and organized, but who at home wears dirty things, lives in a dirty, disorganized house, keeps the sitting room tidy, but the bedroom which is always shut has clothes at war, etc, is a hypocrite. She is deceiving people. She is deceiving herself. Such a person has a deceitful heart and these activities manifest it. The man who knows how to give gifts to those outside but hardly can give a gift to those close to him, is a worthless man. A man who listens to the cry of those he has just met, but who does not listen to the needs of his wife and children, is a worthless man. A girl who can sing like an angel in a choir and dress as beautifully as beauty but cannot live together with another girl in a room or house so much that they must separate and live apart, is a worthless girl. All her singing is hypocritical. Her apparent relationship to God is false. She does not love the girl she is seeing, how then can she love the God she does not see? When believers who have been living together have disagreements that they cannot solve and they decide to part, they have betrayed the Lord. Their Christianity is false. When a woman prays softly in a prayer meeting, making as if the sound of her voice will do harm, gets home and shouts at her husband and children in such a way that the house trembles, the husband and children are frightened, and the neighbours have to order for some protecting devices for their ears, she is a hypocrite. When a person smiles and laughs with people and then gets into the presence of his friend and puts on a stern look, becomes withdrawn and difficult to please, he is proving himself worthless. When a person is more concerned with what the public thinks of him and not with what those who live with him or are close to him think of him, he is being foolish. When those who see you once a week think you are an angel and your driver, house-boy, house-girl, or cleaner in the office think that you are a devil, then you are more of the devil than the angel. If you are a coward at your job site and keep quiet while large sums of money are being stolen and injustice wins the day and you are too afraid to say a word, and then come home and show your iron-handedness on your wife, children and servants, you are a real coward. If you can exercise authority on the weak, select the weak to be your co-workers so that no one ever challenges you, if you cannot stand the companionship of those who are better than you or equal to you or have the courage to tell you the truth squarely to your face, you are a weakling and a coward and possibly a fool. If outwardly you look very tender so that if someone needed tenderness he would think that he should run to you, yet inside you are a hard, firm and as unyielding as a lion or lioness, then you are a real danger to society; for many people in need will run to you for tenderness and crash on the hardness of your steel being. If you are apparently friendly and full of friends, you seem to be close to many people but you have not taken time to pour yourself out into one sure relationship which has cost you much and which lasts, you are deceiving yourself. You are sick. You need to be treated. The person who does not have one bosom friend into whom he has put everything is not well. He is afraid to expose himself; for friendship demands transparency. He is afraid to pay the price; for friendship demands the payment of a total price. He is afraid to suffer, for everyone suffers for his friend. The one who is too busy building many general relationships will discover in the day of need that there is no one to take special care, for all will give him general care.

What is the quality of your relationship to those to whom you do not have to be nice for the relationship to continue? Take, for example, a wife or husband or friend. The friendship has been established.

  1. Do you take it for granted?

  2. Do you put your all into it?

  3. Do you hold nothing back?

  4. Are you building it in every way?

  5. What have you put into building that special relationship?

  6. Who is putting in more, you or the other partner? If it is the other partner, then you are the fool in the relationship. You are the one who will ultimately lose; for to him who gives more will be given.

Take some time to assess your personal relationships with those to whom you are close. The relationship reveals very clearly what your true self is. We repeat; your relationship with those who are close to you shows clearly what you are. If there are constant conflicts, you are a sick man. If the relationships are smooth, you are well. If they are superficial, you are superficial. If they are deep, you are deep. If they are non-existent, you may soon be non-existent.

How do you treat your boss? How do you treat your mistress? How do you treat your master? If you treat them outwardly with respect but in your heart you treat them with contempt, God will bring you to judgment because of your hypocrisy.

Anyone whose inward thoughts and attitudes are different from his outward expressions and attitudes is a hypocrite. Such a one does not know rest. He has not entered into the rest of God; for rest means harmony and wholesomeness. If your thoughts, heart’s desires, desires, words and deeds do not harmonize, you are a sick man; you are the embodiment of a moving civil war.

There is one solution to all the problems raised here. The answer is in the cross. The cross demands that you be humble. Admit that you are a worthless man or woman. Admit that you are a hypocrite. Admit that you are sick. Admit that you are without a friend. Do not only admit it. Confess it to God. Confess it deeply. Confess it at once. Take someone. It may be the person who is involved with you in a hypocritical relationship. Confess your faults to him. Confess them without justifying anything. Lay yourself bare before the person. Open the coffin of your life so that fresh air may come in, then life will come in and the odour will cease. I insist that you should open your failure in personal relationship to someone. After you have opened up to him pray together to the Lord. Claim His instant and His continuous healing. Believe Him to heal you at once and to go on and heal you every day. Afterwards, if you have been confessing to someone else apart from the one or the ones you have failed, confess also to the one(s) you have failed and believe God for very deep healing. He will do it. He will not wait. Confess your healing publicly, for you will never be the same again.